On each of the last days of the Shalosh Regalim, it is the Ashkenazi tradition that Yizkor be recited. It seems strange and paradoxical that a service of mourning and tears be included in the ritual of our joyous Festivals.

Yom Kippur is an appropriate day for the Yizkor service. The serious mood of the Day of Atonement and the emotions of guilt, evoked by Yizkor, blend well together. So how are we to understand the Yizkor service as part of the ritual of the Shalosh Regalim which are holidays of joy?  Pesach, Shavuot and Sukkot, though each has a different motif, are similar in the underlying feeling of joyous gratitude and thanksgiving to G-d.  Why then is the solemn and mournful service of Yizkor included in the Shalosh Regalim ritual?

In considering this matter let us examine another occasion which is perhaps the happiest moment in one's life. That occasion is the day of marriage when bride and groom pledge their undying loyalty and love for each other. This is truly a time of great joy. Yet there too we find a strange paradox. At the conclusion of the marriage ceremony we break a glass.

One reason for this strange custom at a Jewish wedding is to commemorate the destruction of the Holy Temple. However, in Brachot 31a we find another reason given. The Talmud relates that Rav Ashi had arranged a great wedding celebration. Suddenly at the height of the festivities, Rav Ashi appeared carrying a priceless glass vase. In full view of all present he hurled the vase to the floor and it was smashed to pieces. All the wedding guests were saddened at this spectacle, and a hush fell over everyone. When the celebration was resumed it was in a quieter and subdued tone. Tosfot comments, "This is the basis of the custom for the breaking of a glass at the wedding ceremony." What does Tosfot mean to say?

This custom is indicative of the approach of Halacha to the conflicting experiences of life. It is precisely this approach which is emphasized at the solemn moment of Yizkor.

Judaism has never tried to escape from life. The Jew is required to face up to life with all its joys and sorrows. In life both experiences are to be found. They are frequently interwoven. Yet since we are only human, we tend to be overwhelmed by our experiences at the moment and the emotions which we feel as a result. At the moment of joy, we tend to forget that there is a time for sorrow. Conversely, at the moment of sorrow we tend to forget that there is such an experience as joy.

Judaism teaches us to face all aspects of life without being overwhelmed emotionally. It is therefore precisely at the moment of one's greatest joy that one is reminded that there are experiences of the opposite kind as well.

This is the idea of Yizkor on Yom Tov. At the conclusion of the holidays of joy when we are in a happy mood, we are reminded that there are sorrows in life as well. Just as the breaking of the glass takes place at the conclusion of the wedding ceremony, so does the recital of Yizkor take place on the last day of Yom Tov. Both of these occasions, the wedding and the Shalosh Regalim, are moments of joy and should be observed as such. However, there is an ever constant reminder of the possibility of sad occurrences.

Yizkor teaches us to temper our joyful moments with solemnity. May G-d help us to tone down the sorrowful occasions of life with faith and trust in Him.